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BBQ Burgers

On The Grill 59
BBQ Burger

The Scenario:

Everything else that you are going to eat during the Superbowl is going to be insubstantial. It might be tasty but it isn’t going to fill you up, so you need to come up with something solid to fill the rumbling guts of you and your sports watching squad. Whatever you make still needs to be party food, something that goes with beer and that you can eat without paying too much attention. It also needs to be something that you can make without putting too much work in.

Burgers are always a hit, as is barbecue flavoured anything, so what I am proposing is… Barbecue burgers. Revolutionary, I know. What makes them special is just how lazy you get to be while making them.

What You Need:

An oven

A stovetop

A small pot

A rectangular baking dish that just slightly larger than a six pack of burger buns. That detail is important.

A large spoon

A large bowl

A sharp knife

A chopping board

A sturdy spatula

Ingredients To Make Six Burgers


Cider vinegar

Brown sugar

Cayenne pepper

An egg

1 pound of lean ground beef, normally I would say the fattier the better, but oven cooking comes with its own set of restrictions.

1 red onion

1 teaspoon of minced garlic

3 cups of Shredded Cheese

A six pack of burger buns

Optional extras:

Coleslaw and barbecue sauce go together like barbecue sauce and burgers. Or cheese and barbecue sauce and burgers!

If you are feeling crazy you could probably serve out some fries too. That would make the whole thing into something a lot more like an actual meal though.

How To Do It:

1. Preheat your oven to 400F or Gas Mark 6

2. Finely chop your red onion and toss it into the big bowl. Crack in the egg and then dump in the beef too.

3. Put the pot on the stovetop on a medium heat. Once it has warmed up, add in a heaped tablespoon of ketchup, a splash of cider vinegar, a heavy dash of cayenne pepper. Slowly add in 2 heaped tablespoons of brown sugar and melt it all down into a thick, sticky barbecue sauce.

4. Pour the barbecue sauce into the beef and then mix it all together thoroughly.

5. Serve beef into the baking dish and then pat it down flat and even. Shove it into the oven and leave it to bake for ten minutes.

6. While it is baking, Take out all of the buns in one piece, hopefully all still stuck together, then slice the whole thing open around its midpoint, creating one gigantic open bun. Lay the bottom half onto your hastily cleaned chopping board.

7. Sprinkle the shredded cheese over the top of the almost-cooked meat and then leave it in the oven for another 5 minutes.

8. Once the meat is cooked all the way through, lift it out of the oven and use your spatula to lift the whole damned hunk of meat out and slam it down onto the buns.

9. Pop the bun tops on and then use your sharp knife to divide up the burgers and their contents.

These burgers lean a little bit towards the dry side, even with the barbecue sauce blended right into them, but with the melted cheese on top and a beer in your other hand, they should work out just perfectly. You can do most of the prep work ahead of time and only actually start cooking them during the half time show and still have plenty of time to see cheerleaders.

G D Penman writes books. He lives in Scotland with his partner and children, some of whom are human. In those few precious moments that he isn’t parenting or writing he likes to watch cartoons, play video games, read more books than are entirely feasible and continues on his quest to eat the flesh of every living species. He has worked in just about every job you can have in a restaurant and now he is here to yell at you for using a microwave when there is a perfectly good oven right there.

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